comments

Kristy,

Like Josh, above, I agree with some of what you have said here and have a different point of view on some of it as well.

Steven Covey asks us to begin with the end in mind. Or in other words, to have a plan for what we want to achieve.

Networking, as you said, is about building relationships. Some people, however, treat networking as if it is a "trolling for client" event and it is those people who make events unbearable or as you put it "sucky or ech".

So there are two truths at work when you look at the "begin with the end in mind" process.

First, networking is about building relationships. Second, if you are in business - all marketing (and networking is part of your marketing strategy) is about growing our business (also known as acquiring more clients)

It is the speed at which some folks desire the end result that puts the quandry into networking.

At eWomenNetwork, we focus on building relationships and we have a consistent process in place for people to introduce themselves to each other. We coach from the front of the room that the focus at each event is on being curious about others and what they say they do and what they need to grow their business.

We also teach people listening skills and connecting skills. Mostly we focus on building relationships. To that end we discourage the exchange of business cards, suggesting instead that people only exchange cards with people that they have specific information that they want to share or receive from that person.

Does everyone follow these guidelines? Not always, but the majority do. Those that don't and are predatory ... well they end up feeling pretty lonely and unconnected and they eventually go away (usually, they say .. Networking does not work for me)

With all that said, I'm going to disagree with Josh on the process of talking only with people that you need to know. I would not validate the notion of bypassing people that you do not need to know. For how do you truly know this?

I'm all about having a plan but the plan is more about what is it that you are hoping to attract? If you have a firm idea of what kind of clients you love to serve and you can help others to understand that perfect client ... then that person that you thought you did not need to know and bypassed might just be the person who knows 2 or 3 people that would be a potential client for you.

So, in full circle, it comes back to building relationships.

As a networker, you have the right to establish how you will engage with people that you talk with.

If you set your intention to meet 3 interesting people that you could begin the process of building relationships with ... then set out knowing that you will attract those folks to you and you do that by being curious and interested in others.

If you stumble upon folks who are not vibrating at that same level of curiousity, interest, and relationship, you can use your kindness by crafting a disengagement statement that helps you to quickly move away from aggressive or pushy networkers.

Wow, I know this is long ... and I hope it helps those who take the time to read it.

Beth,

Thought provoking article here and very nicely done! About a year ago I had a major confrontation with the perfectionist that lived in my head ... and booted her out. She was causing me way too many problems, delays, and stress. The crazy thing about perfectionism is that most other folks don't even notice when you do get it perfect ... so all that extra time is really just a waste.

I still like things to be a certain way AND I've learned how to balance what I want with what is possible given the time constraints, what other things I'm juggling, and how fast I want to be done.

Thanks for reminding me why making peace with the concept of perfectionism was such an important step in my own personal growth!

Chris Brogan is an awesome speaker and his stuff is very timely ... for all of us. Thanks for asking Dan, and if I might suggest future possibilities - I would love to see Jon Gordon again (saw him in Orlando) and he was very good!

Your new site is very nicely done, Trishann. I'm excited for you! The wedding photo's are exceptional. Wow!

Angie, I hope you are enjoying Arizona and your pregnancy. That little girl sure will have a lot of "aunties" to dote on her! Looking forward to seeing you when you get back to town.

Hi Jeanette,

Why not create an event and invite your eWN friends to attend? The events are only posted to our group and only members of this group can see them. Also, you might consider contacting Deb to set up an SBI in May at your location. The 'Romance Diamond' sounds intriguing!

Good information for beginners! Shannon, I hope you will post your twitter link here so we can follow you. I'm at http://www.twitter.com/zitakg

@Chris,

Thanks for your twitter link. I'm going to go follow you right now.

@Beverly,

If you can't think of a way to use Twitter for professional gain, try following some of the folks who you admire and would like to learn from. There are interesting things every single day that I've put to use and you might find some gems as well. Once you've been doing it awhile, you'll begin to see ways that you can get more exposure for your business or how you can deepen your connections.

Taylor, your article does raise several very good points. Like you, I teach people how to make better use of their social networking time. Many of the folks that I talk with have little or no time to do the research to know which sites are better than others when it comes to allocating time. And, like you, I find a lot of redundancy between many of the sites out there.

Right now, I am recommending to my clients that they have complete profiles up on at least the following 3 sites: LinkedIn, Facebook, and Biznik. I'm also suggesting that they get comfortable with these 3 sites before they venture off into other social media sites.

There are so many people who are also trying to make sense of Twitter and whether or not it is useful to them in their businesses. Nevermind the wanna be sites that are similar to Twitter. About half of my clients find that Twitter is just too much noise while the other half have immersed themselves in the Twitter universe.

You are right to state that, in the end, we really do need to see results from our efforts online. And as you likely know, there is a huge debate on whether results can be measured or not.

For those who want to see measurable results from their online social networking efforts, I would suggest that they spend their online time focused on strengthening the relationships that they already have in the real world. Social media, when used that way, really can have an impact on the continued building of connections and goodwill that is the basis for top of mind awareness that leads to great word of mouth for a person's business.

And, when you see results from your efforts, it inspires you to do more connecting through online social media.

Thanks for the discussion on this very timely topic.

Hi Lesley,

This is a very timely article and I love that your tips are so easy to implement. I'm sure that there are many Biznikers out there that will gladly print this out and post it near their computers as a daily reminder of how to put some "pause" in their day for rejuvination and for peacefulness.

Thank you for a glimpse into the possibility of "white space" and an easy to follow guide on how to get there!

Hi Suzi,

This is a helpful article for all who struggle with what to say when asked, "so, what do you do?"

I like that you have broken it down into easy to follow .... fill in the blank steps.

Another great exercise for anyone putting Suzi's info to good use is to take some time to really think about who your perfect client is and frame what you are saying to attract more of what you want.

Filling in the blanks to make a great soundbite is one thing. Making the extra effort to know who you want to attract with those soundbites is even more powerful.

Thank you, Suzi, for giving everyone an easy to follow and highly powerful tool!

Wow, Steve ...

That's a lot of great information. I'm going to have to print this out and digest it in smaller bites! You've given me a lot to think about and some new tools to check out as well.

The 7 Day Google Challenge is a great value at $39.95 and I highly recommend it to each business person who wants to learn how to quickly navigate getting your content to attract high ratings from Google.

Thanks for an outstanding article!

Hi Rick,

Great point about keeping it human.

This is a great reminder for folks to remember that online social networking is just like face to face networking live and in person. The space between the key board and the screen can make you feel like you are removed from the human element when you are online. Which, of course, can lead to different levels of connection or disconnection.

The folks who are most successful act like they are in a human contact situation even when they are just sitting in their chair staring at the glow of their monitor.

Thank you for the great reminder to all of us to put some warmth and caring into our online behavior!

Jennifer,

I love this article! I especially like the reminder to everyone that we are all role models of either "How to be" or "How NOT to be".

You shine a spectacular light on "How to be!"

I also like the idea of spending time 1/3 with where you've been, 1/3 with where you are, and 1/3 with where you are going. Too often, people get to a point where they forget what it was like when they didn't know what they know now, or they didn't have what they have now. It's a blessing to all when we remember to reach back and help others who want to move on to the next level as well.

YOU are a great role model to us all!